Saturday

From the Heart of a Teen Girl

I had a whole introductory blog planned and written, but in extraordinary timing, I received a message from a teen girl, Imani, telling me her story regarding mean girl drama. Imani is a relative of mine in another state. With her permission, I'm sharing it with you, in her own words. There's no better way to start this blog. It is because of these real issues that 5 Things was created.

"So I sat down to write everything out last night, and it really made me sad, mostly because I have such great female friends now who just build each other up, and encourage me to be better, but there are so many girls who don't know what that feels like, and that simply saddens me.

When I went through some of my mean girl situations most of them boil down to looks, and the way I speak/carry myself. Not good at all, but those are the easiest things to critique and be rude about.

In fourth grade there was a girl who was pretty, blonde, and VERY thin. She used to talk about how skinny she was, and wear short shorts that my mother would never (even today) let me wear, and I was a bit jealous. Our birthdays were days apart, and she would make hers bigger and better than mine. She would tell people that she would never talk to them if they didn't go to her party, and she would exclude me just so I would have a party where not many people showed up. She made me feel less than good about myself. But I also felt badly for her because her parents were getting divorced, and she didn't seem happy about it (like any normal girl) and she was always BEGGING for attention.

In Middle School, I was homeschooled and encountered the most painful Mean Girl in my history. She was very very manipulative. To adults she was nice, and to everyone else she was admired. When I came to our Homeschool Co-Op, she started to tell people that I was trash, lie about me ruining property or saying mean things so everyone would be mean to me and exclude me from their events and activities. When I told my mother, she had a sit down with me, the girl, and a boy who she had told to be mean to me. The boy apologized, and was pretty nice to me after the meeting, but the girl never apologized, kept spreading rumors, and her mother didn't interfere at all. She even got her little sister to be rude to my little sister, calling her fat, and ugly, which I just thought was wayyy beneath the belt.

Those were the two biggest situations, but I have many small stories of girls who talk about the way I speak and the way I dress, but those don't bother me as much because I have family and friends who build me up. If I didn't, I don't know where I'd be.

I also know that the shows like Real Housewives... are creating an image of women that is not cool, or fabulous, but just dramatic and catty. When girls say things like "This is why I don't hang out with girls; there's too much drama." It makes me sad because it's not true. I have very little drama with girls I'm close to because we love, and support each other. Why aren't there more shows like Gilmore Girls where they hold each other up, and help each other reach for their dreams? It's because it's not as "entertaining" and that's very damaging to the way women are portrayed.

PLEASE let me know if you need anything else. I love that you love working with young girls (like me!) because no one else seems to. You seem to be so excited to work with girls. I really, genuinely wish there were more women like you to teach girls about how amazing women can be!"

Wisdom from a teenager. More to come.

7 comments:

  1. Out of the mouths of babes... Lurves it!

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  2. Great stuff! Can't wait to hear and LEARN more! I could have used a website like this on how to raise boys!! Glad I have this for my girl!

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  3. This is great Holly!! I will be checking in as time as by. You have such an sweet and amazing heart! :) Loved your first post!

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  4. so excited to follow your blog!

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  5. Carolyn says- Yay Holly!!- my wonderful daughter-in-love; so proud of you!
    Yay Imani!!- my sweet grand-niece your maturity is amazing.
    Yay Jadyn, Ryn & Taya!! my awesome granddaughters!
    I know this will be a blessing to many-wish I had had it many, many, many years ago. Love it all!!!

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  6. Holly,
    I'm excited about how God is using you to reach mothers and daughters! Looking forward to checking in on your blog for great ideas and encouragement!

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  7. Holly, I'm proud of you for wanting to help other women!! Hope it all goes well for you and others!! Your Mom

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LOVE to hear from readers! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.