Here are some things I've learned.
No one is perfect.
Not even my sweet infallible children (or yours).
Girls interpret every move, nuance and breath as directed at them during this critical stage (whether it's meant toward them or not).
Some girls thrive on drama and will always cause it or gravitate toward it (for whatever reason). (Well, many girls would rather connect with conflict than have no connection at all.)
The majority of girls are terrified of discussing conflict with a friend (for fear of losing the friend).
The meanest usually have the worst behind the scenes problems (still doesn't make being mean okay, just a bit more understandable).
Listening to your daughter describe the friend drama, then leaning toward and teaching empathy first and as a way of life, is in my opinion the best first step. (Well maybe she had a hard day at home, or maybe she didn't mean it that way, but it still doesn't make how she treated you okay. Stay clear of her for awhile, or speak up for yourself respectfully. Empathy + removing yourself OR speaking up for yourself).
Your daughter (and mine) are most likely not telling you the entire story....(and just may be leaving out inconvenient self-incriminating details).
Few moms believe their daughters capable of some things (and many are surprised when they find out they are). So make sure and ask about their own role in the drama.
All the girls are navigating their way through some of the toughest years for girls.
Moms get emotional about it and don't know what to do.
You're not alone. We all want to figure out this out.
Hence, this series!
More to come.
Nicely said. All true.ReplyDelete
Thanks Sohailah. I know you see it daily, being a teacher! :)Delete