February is the National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month. Whew! A mouthful.
It could be easy to brush off and think "Oh, thank goodness that doesn't apply to anyone I know!" But I beg you to read on, if not for yourself, than to be educated, for the sake of all the people you know and influence.
Dating violence sounds extreme, and it can be. And we would hope rare. But it does happen.
However, there are many smaller signs leading up to potential violence that our kids need to recognize. I have found that smaller signs of pretty unhealthy behavior is alarmingly common. It may not be a fist yet, but it's a sign of potential trouble down the road.
We need to put some standards out there of what should be expected and what's not acceptable in dating relationships.
My eyes have been opened after discussing this topic among girls. After going over warning signs of potentially dangerous relationships, I've heard, "Ohhhhhh...my boyfriend kind of does that...." (some of the more stalkery type stuff). I've heard of girls covering bruises with makeup.
Unfortunately dating abuse does happen. And it doesn't have to be physical. Being treated in a very controlling way, taking you from family and friends, demanding to know where you are and who you're with 24 hours a day, are all signs of a danger zone ahead.
Then there are just unhealthy relationships that may not be dangerous, but just aren't good.
Some teens don't know this. We need to tell them. What's obvious to us may not be obvious to them. I'm happy to say some girls that learned these are bad signs broke up with guys. A little education can go a long way.
And sometimes it's the girls who are abusive, controlling or unhealthy. My first year of marriage we lived in an apartment under a violent couple. It was the cute little twenty something girl that beat her boyfriend. This definitely goes both ways. Guys need to be just as aware as girls do, what constitutes a healthy relationship.
January 31, 2012 President Obama issued a Presidential Proclamation that February is National Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month. This is just our second annual Awareness month.
Throughout this month, I'll be providing lots of good resources and information on this topic. It would be way too depressing to spend all month on it, but there is a lot to share! So it will be sporadically placed throughout the month.
I'll post my friend's story again that I posted last February. She willingly shared her story with a group of teen girls about her abusive marriage- how she got into it, how she got out, and signs to watch for.
I beg you to follow us all this month. Inform yourself. Watch for signs. Talk through this with your kids.
We've always told ours, one hit, one push, one shove, they're out. There's no second chances. Physical violence is never to be taken lightly. Ever. In fact, I'll make that my 5 Things for today:
1. One hit,
2. One push,
3. One shove,
4. They're out.
5. No second chances.
People that act abusively need help and I hope will get it, but the girlfriend or boyfriend is not the one to help them. No matter how many times they apologize. If you find out someone you know faces any of the warning signs we'll talk about this month, SPEAK UP. You have permission to get in their business. They honestly may not know some behaviors are not normal. You may save them.