Top 5 Pressures of Middle School Girls

When I asked 13 year old girls in 2006 what the top pressures they face are, here's what they said:

1. peer pressure
2. teen years being a popularity contest
3. people trying to be something they're not
4. guys
5. being skinny

(a close 6th being pressure from parents, fyi)

When I asked the same in 2011 of 13 year olds, they gave me this answer:

1. trying to be perfect (like a model)
2. boys
3. peer pressure
4. girl drama
5. text/facebook wars

(with the 6th being eating disorders)

Hard to imagine that back when I met with those girls in 2006, Facebook wasn't even in their vocabulary. Those were the days! I just looked and it was launched February 2004, so just a few short years ago, social media was not a part of raising teens. (Just an interesting reminder).

Discussion starter:

Ask your daughter what she thinks the top 5 pressures are on girls in general today. See what she says. Then show her these lists and see if she agrees.

This will generate great discussion and hopefully lead you to a conversation where you can find out what specifically your own daughter feels pressure about. Don't respond, just listen first. Hard to do. Constantly have to remind myself of the same. Once we think about their situation, gain some empathy, then talk about it again.


  1. Love this and definitely sharing.

    1. I'm glad you find it useful! Thanks for passing it along!


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