5 Things Story- Women in Their 70's and 80's Share Their Secrets

Today I'm super excited to have a guest blogger, Sharon Braner of SISTER CHAT blog. 

Sharon is a good friend of mine, a lady who is always in the middle of something. She leads awareness efforts about human trafficking, she's volunteered with me in Girls 101 workshops, she has a blog and a bookclub, and she spreads the word about a spectacular teen summer camp that her son Andy Braner runs- CAMP KIVU for teens. Whew!

I asked her to investigate and snoop around among her friends, and ask moms who have "finished" raising kids, "What are 5 Things you are glad you did?" Sometimes ladies who are mature in years think that their advice might be outdated for today's world, but I find that usually it's not. In fact, when I read their 5 things, I shouted YES! This fits exactly in today's world. Values are timeless. We'll let Sharon take it from here!

"5 Things Story

Yesterday I sat at a kitchen table with two older friends, one in her 70’s, the other 80.

We get together once in a while to share knitting patterns and problems, but after about the first 20 minutes the conversation always turns to current life issues each of us are facing. (I am SO blessed to have older friends that are a few years ahead of me in this life! Their wisdom is remarkable!)

I asked them, “What 5 things did YOU do as a mom that you are so glad you did?”

I literally watched their faces change as they silently moved back to the glory days of mothering their young. One has two grown sons, the other two grown daughters. Their children are kind, loving, strong adults and now raising children of their own.

Maybe time has erased the tension, worry and that huge feeling of responsibility young moms often battle, because now those two lovely ladies beamed in the joy of those memories of babies, toddlers, and teens.

(It’s ALWAYS good to know women that are still alive, upright, & functioning in the empty nest period of life. These two are just fine!!)

Their answers were a collaboration of sorts because they agreed on so much. Evidently their 5 elements are (or maybe WERE) just standard rules of “how to grow a child.”

Their thoughts: (not in any order of importance.)

1. READ : Start reading to the babies when they are BABIES! Read to them every day, make sure they see YOU reading, take toddlers to the library, have lots of books in the house, turn the TV off and READ. Cultivate the joy of reading. Read history, biographies, and FUN fiction.
2. FAMILY MEALS: Every night without fail. Even when harried schedules intervene “make a table.” Turn the TV off and SIT at the table. When it gets difficult, make the meal simple, but put it on the table and face each other. Family members get to know each other at the dinner table. (Phones in a basket by the door when family comes in, picked up only when leaving the building. No answering phones during dinner.)
3. RESPECT: Moms must model respect by treating every single human being with dignity. Treat children with respect, listen to them, and never speak in degrading or condescending tone. If disrespect by others is witnessed, take the opportunity to talk about it.
4. CONSEQUENCES: Every child must learn that bad decisions are followed by unhappy results. Time out, taking away a toy or privilege, etc. As hard as it is to want to protect them, learning consequences at home is far better than learning is from the principal, police, or the judge. Forego the temptation to be a drill sergeant but face issues one at a time with appropriate responses. Discipline quickly and love deeply.
5. FAITH: Take them to church always; making sure teens are involved in a great youth program. Pray aloud and often, read the Bible every day at some point. Talk about the character of God. Let them hear you praying for them and others. Teach them to think beyond themselves and their own needs. Be sure they learn they are not the center of the universe.

Well, I took a deep breath and realized that I’d failed in many of these areas, even though my sons survived and are happily functioning adults. I’m sure my friends failed from time to time as well. I suppose the lesson is to TRY to be consistent.

I worked hard at being a good mom and have been heard to say in years gone by, “If they amount to anything I’ll take all the credit, if they become serial killers I’ll take the blame.”

How foolish! As influential as parents are in their children’s lives, God is and must be the #1 parent.

THE most important ONE thing I’ve ever learned: God answers the prayers of mothers!"

The Nameless Woman by Lauren

jadyn noelle photography

I love to pass on work that other people produce. I especially love to pass on original words written by young girls and young ladies.

Today I have the super honor of sharing a story that a wonderful young lady recently wrote. Lauren is my daughter's roommate at college. You know how we parents pray for our kids friends as they grow up, hoping our children will find very quality relationships? Lauren is an above and beyond answer to those prayers. She is in real life as fun as she looks in this picture! Ultra quality, as you will soon see as you read her words. 

I love her focus on "the nameless woman" in this story, taken from the story in John 8 from the Bible. No one is nameless to God. Lauren imagined what the woman caught in adultery must have been thinking as she was extended grace from this amazing Man. 

The Nameless Woman

By Lauren Branz

Again, I found myself in the same place.
Once again, I felt such filth all over my body.
I lifted up my fingers to wipe away the tears from my eyes, but all I could see was the dirt under my fingernails and my mud-stained hands.

My body ached.
Ached with a stinging pain.
Ached from the broken heart that I owned and was trying so desperately to fix.

The ground underneath my body was hard and cold.
There were no blankets to warm me.
Nothing to melt the icy feeling that followed me wherever I put my feet.

All that was next to me was a man that did not belong to me.
A man that did not love me.
A man that wanted a twisted form of love from me.

He didn’t want me. Not me.
No man wanted me.

You see, I was what you would label “an adulterer”
Always taking things that did not belong to me.
Always looking for love in the wrong places.
It was a deadly cycle that I couldn’t figure out how to break.

I looked out of the makeshift window in the small clay home.
It was still dark, yet the sun was beginning to slowly burst out of the horizon.
The man next to me was beginning to stir.
His body reeked with a smell that I could only describe as spoiled food and wine.

I realized that I needed to leave this man quickly.
His wife would be home when the sun was out of hiding.

Although this was a lifestyle that I had become accustomed to,
I still didn’t want to be caught doing the very thing that I was the most ashamed of.

I began to sit up slowly and started to look for my worn-out sandals that were passed on to me from my mother.
They were right beside the enormous door and inside of a bucket.
I stood up and began to plan my quiet escape.

As I was picking up the sandals, I began to hear noises outside of the home.
Then the door began to slowly open.
I looked around for a place to run, but there was nowhere to run.
There was always nowhere to run.

A woman now stood in the doorway with a group of men behind her.
She walked in her home with a candle in her hands.
She looked right at me with fire in her eyes and yelled,
“This is the woman I was suspecting. The adulterer!”

The adulterer. Even I was beginning to forget my own name.

“Get out of this home!” One of the men yelled.
“How dare you think you could get away with this?” A second one said.
“You’re coming with us. No harlot in this town!” Another added.

The woman walked right up to me as her drunken husband began to wake up from the chaos.
“I hope you get what you deserve for seducing my husband,” she said as she spit on my face.
She then leaned down to comfort her repulsive husband.

“Who is this woman?” he said pointing at me. “I have never seen her before!” he slurred.

I looked at him, disgusted.
Once again, I was the nameless woman.
Was anyone willing to stand up for me?
Did I do this act by myself?

The wife began to whimper loudly.
“Pharisees, take her away!” She yelled to the men in the doorway.

The two men in the front came to me, and grabbed both of my arms forcefully.
They pushed me through the door as they began walking me through the town.

They were holding my arms so hard that I was beginning to not be able to feel them.
All I could feel was the sharp stones under my feet.
I remembered I never got the sandals from the bucket

Where were they taking me?
Was death my punishment?
There was a dark part of me that wished that it was.
At least I would be out of my misery.

I was beginning to see where they were taking me.
To the temple courts.

As they brought me into the temple, I realized there were hundreds of people there.
They were all listening to a man that I had never seen before that was standing in front of them all.
He was teaching them.

He stopped speaking when I came into the temple.
All of the people looked at me.
My pride was gone. Everything I had was gone.
I had never felt more defeated.

The men made me stand in front of the entire group.
All of their eyes were glued to me.
I looked down at my filthy feet to avoid their gaze.

“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

I felt as if the men didn’t like this teacher.
Like he was challenging their authority.
They hung on his every movement like they were trying to accuse him of something also.

Instead of answering them, this teacher bent down and starting writing in the dirt below him.

I thought that maybe the men had brought me to the wrong person.
Who was this curious man?
What was happening?

“Did you hear us, teacher?” one asked.
“What are you doing?’ another one chimed.
The questioning continued as he persistently wrote in the dirt.
After a long pause, he stood up and said these simple words,

“Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”

My head shot up.
I couldn’t believe it.
Was this teacher crazy?

Everybody in the town knew who I was.
An adulterer.
I deserved a punishment.
I deserved to be put to death for the things that I had done.
I even knew that.

He looked at me for a moment with his soft gaze and bent down to write in the dirt again.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first.
Every single one of my accusers and criticizers fled.

This teacher gathered himself as he looked around the temple.

“Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” he said as he looked at me with his gentle eyes.

I looked around the temple.
No one was here to condemn me any more.

“No one, sir.” I spoke slowly.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” the teacher declared.
“Go now and leave your life of sin.”

He continued writing in the dirt.
I was speechless and shocked.

Whoever this man was,
Whatever this man was,
I wanted to know what he was teaching.

(Send her some love in the comment section- she is just emerging as a writer and went out on a limb letting me post this! Don't you agree she should continue writing?!! So good).

Parenting in the Wilderness

Lucky for you, today's post is from my friend, Tracy Schaller.



Tracy and her husband, Mark both went to college with me way back when. In fact, I remember them like this:

Remember that guest post from my friend Lucy about Raising a Daughter with a Disability? Mark was the team leader for that missions trip that Lucy and I were both on. Not sure if Mark knew Lucy and I snuck out and raided the pantry, but oh well.

Mark and Tracy were dating during that summer that Mark, Lucy and I spent in Amsterdam. The days of receiving letters from back home were exciting, I do remember that. The funny thing is, I never really knew Tracy very well, just through Mark that summer. I know he adored her.  I didn't get to "know" Tracy well until Facebook this last year! Isn't that funny. There are some people you can get to know and relate to, when you find them posting things that you would post, you like the comments you see, common opinions are realized. Facebook is a funny thing, but it IS possible to get to know someone through it.

NOW, Mark and Tracy have 7 beautiful children, ranging in ages from 4-18. They have been married for almost 23 years. An amazing example of a great family.

I just had a feeling. I asked Tracy if she would share something on this blog. Usually I give people a direction, or theme. This time it was an open ended question. She responded with this beautiful devotional for parenting that she wrote. I will let it speak for itself. I'm sure it'll speak to you.

"Parenting…no one ever said it would be easy.  And if they did, they lied.  There are definitely different seasons in parenting – depending on the year, the month, the week, the day, the hour, the moment!  Often it seems like a mommy finds herself in the “wilderness season” more than she cares to be. 

Here you may feel hot (bothered, sweating, as in -"I don’t know what I am doing, I’m not even sure how we arrived here, and how do we get out – alive"), thirsty (for His wisdom, His knowledge, His understanding, His answers, His comfort…are you parched yet!?)  

At these times your children may feel like the desert animals – serpents and wild animals.  I think it is safe to say – we have all been there and have experienced that!!

The beautiful thing is that there is hope!!  Here are just a few reminders that just may help you during this season of wilderness mothering.

He knows your name and is calling…(Hagar heard Him call while in the wilderness – Gen 21:17-19 – He opened her eyes and she saw a well of water.  I’m so thankful that there is always a few places small springs of water rise to the surface and give enough moisture for growth.  May He open your ears to hear and your eyes to see.  His presence is near.  He is our living water – our oasis!!  He uses all for growth!

He wants us to simply be in fellowship with Him – abiding – resting – trusting, peaceful – not afraid.  Song of Songs 8:5 “Who is this coming up from the DESERT leaning on her lover?”   If we lean on Him – He promises to direct our paths.  It is He who is pouring living water in you and through you  (to help others find the Oasis – Jesus – in their mothering.)  This verse reminds me of my job – abiding – and His job – giving me strength. 

It reminds me that it is okay to look odd to this world in my mothering – they will eventually say and ask, “Who is this LOVER of hers?”  Oh, that is my heart’s cry…may they see Jesus.  My reactions during the wilderness season matters – others are watching!  The only way for me to be a terrific mom is my leaning on the Creator of my children!

Finally, I love His promise to mothers!!  Isa. 40:11  “He tends his flock like a shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart, he gently leads those that have young.”  Ponder it!!  Allow Him to be all this to you – this moment!


We all know that parenting isn’t for wimps.  “Keep Calm and Carry on”, my mommy friend. 

Lean on Him – abide, hope, rest, know His love, wait on Him….His promises are sure and true!"

Quiet, Stillness, Support...

This last weekend girls were prayed for at a prayer meeting just for them...girls both in high school and college. The goal is just to provide an atmosphere of quiet, stillness, and support in prayer.

God gave, through Scripture and prayer, some wonderful images of His relationship with each of them.

If you don't believe in God speaking to you through prayer, this may not make sense to you. But we had a room full of young girls, who by choice are living lives in relationship with Jesus, who find their purpose and identity in Him. They are filled with hope and confidence in their futures. And a security of relationship with God.

Not everyone believes this way, which I get and that's okay. But for those who do, or who seek for something like this, nights like this are such an encouragement. Such a boost for girls to see God intimately involved in relationship with them.

Photo credit: Joy Magee http://www.deebrestin.com/

"You're nestled under His wing, in comfort and protection, as He battles above, on your behalf."

Encouragment  received that she is on the right track, He's pleased she is determined to serve Him. He's right there with her as she makes daily decisions. She can be confident that she will make good decisions as she stays consistent.

"You don't have to know everything now. God's got it figured out ahead of you. Rest. Be at peace."

God appreciates her being one of those who seek Him and seek to understand Him.

"The road may be lonely as you make decisions that separate you from others, but it won't be lonely with Him. He's got your back."

"Good things to come- don't let go of the dream, it's still valid and still there."

 What better thing can you ask to hear from high school and college aged girls than "Can we do this every month??" (and I never remember to take pictures at these meetings! or I'd post these lovely ladies!)

Girls seeking prayer. Seeking God.

God proving Himself  faithful, involved and caring.

Donna Greene, who has worked with teen girls for well over 30 years, says in her book "Growing Godly Women":

"The Bible helps a girl to look deep within her soul in order to find and begin to know her true self. She learns to acknowledge her own unique gifts and accept her true feelings and limitations. She begins to make decisions about values, standards, and commands from God. What is socially acceptable does not necessarily match God's Word. The Bible teaches her a process, which includes knowing the difference between thinking and feeling, between hearing her own voice and that of another person rather than the will of the Lord. God's Word shows a girl the difference between immediate gratification and long-term goals. Culture may change but God's guidelines do not. They help a girl chart a course based upon the road which, although narrow, leads to joy, confidence, personal satisfaction and peace."

Many, many sources, whether they consider themselves "Christian" or not,  agree that teens have a need to understand and experience spiritual things.  It helps them process life.

Ladies in my local area, if you have never heard of or been to an iRefresh prayer meeting, I encourage you to check out one of these monthly meetings, for a similar experience for women. Look at their website at http://www.irefresh.net/.

Why I Can't Get Anything Done

allow me a moment to indulge you into just a few moments of my mind this hot crazy summer, which i surprisingly captured on paper.


"after a late night stalking jason castro with my girls at a local concert, staying late to ensure they got a picture with him, i awoke early this morning to take a daughter to horse lessons. the summer heat stretch is causing us to have incredibly early lessons to ensure survival and the drive is a bit far away.

sometimes i stay out in the area to write, sometimes i drive home. today? giggly over getting home to a MUCH needed quiet morning alone! even if it's only an hour and a half before having to drive out there again. so excited. barely got horse daughter out of the car when other daughter calls because she has a sudden babysitting job way out by the horse lessons, so can i take her? of course. certainly. even though i have to drive allll the way home to get her and allll they way back out by horse lessons. don't want to discourage strong work ethic. so much for the needed quiet morning. i can adjust.

drive home. have one cup of coffee. take daughter way back out to babysitting job. if i added up time spent in car i'd be depressed so i don't. come home. aaahhh quiet morning. get a text from horse daughter that someone else is bringing her home. praise God for nice people! get call from sitter daughter that she's been requested to stay longer now, but doesn't know how long, so now i'm "on call".

have a bit of needed time alone. remember that husband asked me to drop off dry cleaning shirts today. throw them in the floor in the doorway so i can't possibly forget to take them when leave. whenever that is. i don't know because i'm on call. get a call from third nanny daughter who is watching 3 kids. the problem is she has to take them places but the boy has hives and can't get hot. we all know her car is blazing hot because it hasn't had AC in three years and the nation is in the middle of a hellish heat streak. so could they use my car? (which leaves me with hot car to pick up sitter daughter who dies if she has to be seen in nanny daughter's car especially if a parent is driving it).

searching for viable options, the other choice we come up with is i could drive the whole group to their lunch destination, wait a half hour doing whatever i'm supposed to do, then come back and get them and take them to the theater, then go back and get them two hours later, which would work but wait, what if sitter daughter needs a ride right when movie starts? then she'd have to sit there awkwardly with people she doesn't know well for 30 minutes while i drive to get her since it's so far away. that really wouldn't hurt her so maybe i'll do that. or i could say no to the whole nanny daughter thing like my husband would. but according to the kids, that's what makes mom the mom. she does these things.

being a mom is like one gigantic ongoing sacrifice. we consider things husbands don't. i can't let the boy with hives drive in a hot car can i? ok take my car. i'll drive the hot one. nanny daughter has suffered three years in it, so i can take one turn. i leave in hot car to take the shirts that i tripped on to the dry cleaners. turn on car and radio station i don't allow is blasting. reminded that she's 18 and going to college and there's not a darned thing i can do about and it's not my job to approve her music outside my home anymore. remember the speech my husband often gives about the "diet" of music, not wanting too much junk food in their diet. and all the reasons they've gotten from me about unapproved music and why. the times i've made them read lyrics out loud to us. or worse for them, when i read them. ha.

reminded that she tells me she turns off gross, degrading songs and doesn't like them either. i think about a music/media blog coming up and i could blog this, but then people would probably say aaaahhh, the poor deceived blog lady actually thinks her daughter turns off the bad songs. isn't that precious....but i can handle that cuz i know she probably does because that's the kind of person she is, and has she ever actually listened to one? probably. i'm not clueless. i remember how long it took me to clean up my own song habits and how i only really listened when it was God telling me and not someone's speeches.

then i see a handwritten scripture taped to dashboard next to the radio about may the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight O Lord. thank you Jesus. i chuckle at how contrasting the song and the scripture are as i listen to the words of the song which i 've decided to KEEP playing, so i can be proven if needed that this isn't really a bad station. but the song is describing an ongoing sex scene in more detail than i have ever heard in a song, and now i have to listen to it for research purposes so i know what's going on.

so now i'm driving around the hot car blasting the unapproved radio station thinking how funny it would be for people to see the 5 things lady driving around blasting around an explicit sex song. then it's windy cuz all the windows are down cuz it's hot so now i have to turn it up even louder and i'm thinking what a funny blog this could be but do i dare expose the world to my real mind? i remember how my husband told me once it must be exhausting to live inside of my head and i had only given him a tiny glimpse of my daily reality. laugh to myself because people think i'm quiet sometimes, but it's cuz my head is always like this and there's so much going on that i'm too tired to talk.

i stop at the gas station to get gas because of course the car that i get has one fume, but the song isn't over so i sit and listen to the end of it (yes with my windows down), typing whatever words i can understand into my phone so i can look it up later for research purposes to know what those muddled words actually were. wondering how many kids listen to this garbage and how many parents even know that the songs say such things? or do the parents listen to?

anyway, pump gas, get back in hot car, excited i have a new text, then realize it's from myself. disappointed. laugh that in my mom world with sometimes little adult interaction, a text is cause for excitement. how pathetic. at least i entertain myself. i am my own best friend. as i drive and sweat, i'm thinking to myself that not only am i on call to pick up sitter daughter whever that is, but i also previously agreed to take horse daughter to a friend's house after her lesson. my selfish motive at the time was to have quiet time , but there's always a price, right? and my price is driving. and oh how i pay. but soon i'll have no one to drive around and then i'll miss this, right? self talk. perspective.

so the day that i thought would be filled with aloneness and fulfilling writing deadlines is now full. then i recall that yesterday was the SAME. i started my glorious day only to receive a phonecall from my husband that his car had just broken down on the highway. he got a ride to work. i still don't understand what happened, but all i know is i had to take a spare key, drive it to abandoned car, put the key under the mat and leave it unlocked because the tow truck was on it's way. simple.

i promptly drive to abandoned car. leave key under mat. lock door. get ready to drive away and PANIC that i just locked our only extra key into the abandoned car, with tow truck in route!!

PANIC that i cannot possibly reveal my ignorance OR stress out my husband who is in a series of meeting after meetings and can't help me anyway. i have to take care of it myself and don't have much time to do it and how could possibly be this DUMB? because my head is this full you see.

all the way there i was sad thinking of all the hard sicknesses and accidents and hospitalizations of friend's children that are going on. it's just so wrong and there are so many things to pray for and i want everyone to have a miracle. so now i've locked the only key inside. as i hold my skirt down with each wind gust from each semi that barrels by, i am thankful for smartphones. look up locksmiths. beg someone to come like right NOW cuz a tow truck is on the way, and my husband can't possibly know i did this, because he just wouldn't get it, cuz men's heads aren't full like this, right? all the cartoons show the empty bubble cloud above the man's head and he told me that really IS true, and then i think i wish i was a man sometimes it would be easier, but not really cuz then i'd have to provide an income.

a wonderful locksmith, now my BFF4L, came and saved me within 15 minutes and i use an old credit card hoping it will go by unnoticed, realizing i would have paid him a million dollars, well not really but YAY it was under 100. we pact together that this never happened and i speed off. husband texted that the tow truck was almost there and i respond "cool." so calm.

now i'm driving home and get a panicked call from horse daughter who is at home and she's crying cuz our dog has something wrong with it. i imagine heat stroke and i panic again, speeding home. why is my heart pounding so much today? thank goodness it wasn't actually heat related. i misunderstood the crying sounds and the dog was okay, it's too hard to explain the tears so never mind. now i have to spend an hour settling my heart from the adrenalin rush i just had twice. i'm thinking of my friends who had worse things happen recently and wow if i'm pounding over that imagine what they were like. go home. exhausted. no writing today.

i'm left today thinking about people asking how the writing is going, probably wondering about my self imposed deadlines i've spoken out loud. and how difficult that is to answer. what do i do everyday? things like this. drive, drive around town, drive more. meet needs. say yes to too much. write in my head, wondering if i'll ever have time to get it on paper. wondering if it matters.

thinking what a funny blog this could be-inside a multi tasking mother's head. but then i wonder wait what if i'm the only one? then i'd just look really crazy to the whole world. well the whole world of 100 people that might potentially be reading it. but surely not, surely other moms can relate to this madness. am i the only one? please say i'm not. am i brave enough to find out? i don't know yet. we'll see. but i'd definitely find out if my husband reads my blog!

gotta go. sitter daughter needs her ride. i didn't tell her it's the hot car. we'll surprise her.

p.s. if no one comments that they can totally relate, i may never blog again. and we'll say this never happened."

p.p.s. the above picture is what I actually looked like driving around this summer. the below pic is how i liked to imagine myself, to get through the day.

(If you'd like to stay in touch with ongoing issues of today's moms, I invite you to follow us by email or "like" our facebook page called 5 Things. And pass us on right now to one friend who can relate!)

Rockhold Girls Have Their Say

WOW. That was then, this is now! After a hilarious afternoon getting four opinionated sisters to agree on a picture to post with this blog, I told them that nothing has changed! You would think we were all still 15! I have a whole new set of blog material with their rantings of who looked like what in each picture! :) Having 25 children among them, it was pretty difficult to find a non-pregnant skinny phase for all at one time HAHA. I told them it was all silly because they all look beautiful in every picture I see! Aren't they all lovely?

These girls were all too willing to share 5 things they are glad their mom did, now that they can look back and see without a clouded adolescent perspective! :) We'll go youngest to oldest for the sake of my BFF VALERIE.

Valerie- (that's her right in front)

1. I'm so glad my Mama instilled in me a real love for Jesus Christ, and a faithfulness to His people!

2. I'm so glad she was strict, even though at the time..I didn't like it...ha! I think I'm way more strict now than she ever was!

3. I'm so glad she loved my dad the way she did and still does. Her example there has been really wonderful.

4. I'm so glad she instilled in us a love of family...and spending time together. I love my family!

5. I'm so glad she taught me to be courteous and respectful. I've seen SO MUCH of the opposite in my grown up life, I'm glad I know better!

Janet- (far left in picture)

1. I'm so thankful for my mother's confidence. She was always sure of herself when it came to mothering and it gave me wonderful security. I don't remember her ever second guessing herself. I wish I had the same confidence.

2. She loved our Daddy so much. I think their 5:00pm smooch when he got home from work every day taught me myriads of things! Taught me that I was secure in a family where they loved each other and taught me how to "greet" my hubby!

3. I'm thankful she didn't feel like she needed to "flit about town" and be involved in lots of other things to make her feel fulfilled. She worked, she was a wonderful nurse, but she was fulfilled the most I think by being our mom.

4. She was always home when we were home, always there to listen to us (even if she was so sleepy she would nod off).

5. I'm so thankful she taught us about the Lord Jesus and the gift of salvation and that she encouraged us to grow in the Lord. I love that she's always been my teacher/encourager in my life long pursuit of being as good of a momma as she was!

Karen - (back middle in picture)

1. I loved how much my mom and dad loved the Lord. It was never religious or churchy or just social. They lived it every day. Not that there weren't disappointments, but she was always honest, never hypocritical. They taught us about Lord.

2. My mom was always lots of fun; she liked to stay up late, always watching The Tonight Show. She loved parties and having friends over, hers and ours. I remember how she let me skip school my senior year, just to shop for a prom dress. (I should have skipped that prom, ha). I thought she was really cool to let me do that.

3. I agree with my sisters, except that I don't think she was always home when we got home. It's just that we felt so secure, we didn't mind. She worked different shifts and would often leave before 7:00am for work, while I was on my way to the bus. Sometimes she would not get off until 11:00pm. But it all seemed so normal to us (we even sometimes "skipped" holidays until the next day, when it was her turn to work a holiday shift). We just felt secure as a family. Our house was always a place friends wanted to come.

4. I ALWAYS knew my mom could fix any problem, especially if it involved blood! (being a nurse) HA! I'm sure she was scared at times, but she didn't let us know it.

5. I know how much she didn't want to move to Ponca City at first (where we grew up), leaving her parents in Kansas City and coming to a small town. But I never realized it then. After 30 years in Ponca, she didn't want to leave and move back to Kansas City! I miss Ponca City, but I am glad she's closer to us now. Now that I'm a wife and mother, it's easier to see how much she gave of herself. I love her dearly!

Wendy-(far right in picture)

1. She really trusted in the Lord to work in our lives. She was not surrounded by books and magazines that are so available now for help. She didn't have Google, she didn't have peers giving her free advice.

2. She trusted us girls to make right choices. She didn't hover over us with advice. I remember that some of her friends were critical of her trust in us.

3. She was just who she was. She never pretended to be someone she was not. She was a new believer when she married my dad, so she was intent on surrounding us with opportunities to be exposed to Bible teaching.

4. Even though she was strict, she was never a list of rules. She had compassion on us when we made mistakes and didn't berate us for them.

5. She taught me to love lemonade! Silly, huh?

Well Mama Rock ought to be one happy camper now, right? If you missed yesterday's post where Mama Rock told her five things, check it out! They are a great family. Good memories.

Hopefully everyone likes the picture!

and I wonder who is pregnant...JK!!!!

My First Interview- With My Mom

"What are 5 things you're glad you did in raising your daughter?" This is the question I've been asking moms of grown children. Able to look back with a broader perspective now, these moms can help those of us still in the trenches to see what is truly important.

When my own 3 adorable girls were very little, women stopped me countless times in public and said, "Enjoy these days, these are the best of times!" I know they were being nice, but the notion worried me a bit because as much as I loved and enjoyed my girls, I spent much of my time wanting to pull my hair out! "It doesn't get any better?!" is what I was left thinking with a touch of panic. And I loved being a mom. Still do.

Now I understand what they meant and I know that as trying as things can be at times when kids are young, a main principle to live by at that stage is to stop and enjoy the moments. Enjoy life, all the parts of it. One day you'll want to relive them.

I'll be sharing many mom stories with you over time. But for today, we begin with my own mom, Verna Craig. She and my dad raised me, my younger sister, Heather, and our older brother. They have been married a whopping 51 years and live in Ponca City, OK. Many of my talents come from her and I'm happy she agreed to be my first story!

Until age 7, I lived in Kansas City and my mom worked full time. Then we moved to Ponca City where she was a stay at home mom from my elementary years until I left for college. I say that just to set context for her story.

Heres what the Madre to say! Oh, and she had 6 points instead of 5, but since she's my mom I'm letting her keep all 6. (mom privileges) What are the things she's glad she did? In her words...and my words in italics :)

• Becoming a Christian at age 35 helped me to become a better mother. I learned to pray Bible verses for my children. I spoke scriptures out loud for each one of them everyday. I could go on and on about my love for the Scriptures and the truth contained in them.



• In my twenties I worked because I thought we needed the money, which we did if we wanted any extras. Your dad never wanted me to work. But I liked the work, and it didn't bother me to leave my young kids with someone else. I would do it differently now. When I did stay home, it was difficult to sacrifice and live on one salary, but I would do it over again. I found ways to stay on budget. It was important to me to be home to take care of the house, my kids, study the Bible, pray, and fix nightly dinner. The benefits of staying home far outweighed the opposite in my opinion. I wish more women today would think about staying home with their children to train and nurture them. Society is different today. Often people work to afford luxuries.



• I ran a tight ship. (yes she did) From a young age, I taught them to call me if they were going to be late coming home. They could play at someone's house but only for two hours and then they came home. (I don't even remember the time constraint.) If they spent the night with a friend, we picked them up at a designated time in the morning. This was being courteous to the parents at the home where they were spending the night.



• Taking lessons was a great way to learn discipline. If they took piano lessons, then they had to practice 30 minutes a day before their dad got home. (and it was 30 minutes per subject- piano, ballet...with no sympathy for friends playing football outside waiting on me) Competitive sports is a great way to learn not only discipline, but how to interact successfully with others. Then there is the child who is not interested in lessons or sports. They may have to learn things the "hard" way, but maybe it's not "hard" to them.



• It's very important to flow differently with each child, because each child IS different. Nurture the gift that God has placed within each child. It may not be your choice, but if it's not something bad, then allow free expression by letting go of them and gently guiding them in the path they have chosen.



• Most importantly, teach them the ways of the Lord not only by instruction, but by example. (which they have always done!)

Prayer, work, order and courteousness, discipline, uniqueness of children, her example. 

Those are the issues that came to her mind when asked to look back at the past. I would have to agree that all of those principles served us well.

FYI, I will NOT be adding extracurricular peanut gallery comments in other ladies stories, haha. Since it was my mom and my life, (and my blog), I took the liberty! I want to thank Mom for being brave to be my first interview! And for being a great mom.

Coming tomorrow, my sister and I share 5 things we are glad our mom did raising us which will be a surprise to her! We wrote ours before reading what she had to say, just to keep it interesting. Stay tuned!

Post script- I have fabulous mom interviews coming up, many who always worked full time and many who stayed at home. That can be a touchy subject at times, but we are highlighting women of many situations. I also found it common among older women to question whether their advice is now outdated. I disagree. If you're happy you did it, it is relevant!